0 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 1 00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:34,758 Son of Dracula. Return of the Son of Dracula. 2 00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:41,461 The Son of Dracula's Revenge? Is that all you can do? Vampire movies? 3 00:01:41,534 --> 00:01:43,764 I'm afraid that's not good enough. 4 00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:46,431 You'd have to be a bite more versatile 5 00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:49,998 to be on the frighting staff of Tales from the Crypt. 6 00:01:53,446 --> 00:02:00,181 Oh, hello, creeps. As you can see, we've got an opening for a story dead-itor. 7 00:02:00,253 --> 00:02:03,654 I've been conducting chop interviews all morning. 8 00:02:03,723 --> 00:02:06,920 No one seems to get what I'm looking for. 9 00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:11,024 Oh, well. Let's see who's next. 10 00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:16,660 Interesting, a brother team. 11 00:02:17,737 --> 00:02:21,104 Grimm, I think I've heard of them. 12 00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:24,176 This has potential, boils and ghouls. 13 00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:29,477 It's a twisted bit of gorytelling about three scaracters you may recognize 14 00:02:29,549 --> 00:02:31,346 at first. 15 00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:34,750 It's called the "Third Pig. " 16 00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:42,356 Once upon a time, there were three little piggies. 17 00:02:42,428 --> 00:02:47,092 Their names were Dudley, Drinky and Smokey. 18 00:02:49,302 --> 00:02:50,997 What are you looking at? 19 00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:53,895 Dudley Pig was the smartest of the three. 20 00:02:53,973 --> 00:02:58,910 He lived in a sturdy house made of bricks which he kept very neat and tidy. 21 00:02:59,078 --> 00:03:03,378 Drinky lived in a house made out of an old whiskey keg. 22 00:03:07,153 --> 00:03:10,384 While Smokey lived in a house made out of cigarettes and wooden matchsticks. 23 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:15,856 To say that Drinky and Smokey weren't as smart as their brother Dudley 24 00:03:16,262 --> 00:03:18,127 would be putting it mildly 25 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:22,191 as both were sorely lacking in the brain department. 26 00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:26,932 Drinky only thought about one thing. Well, maybe two things. 27 00:03:27,006 --> 00:03:32,103 While Smokey... Smokey didn't think of anything at all. 28 00:03:33,246 --> 00:03:35,237 In this happy neighborhood 29 00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:38,614 there also lived a devious and hungry wolf. 30 00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:41,279 Mr. Wolf was bad as could be. 31 00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:46,124 And he had a ravenous appetite. 32 00:03:56,703 --> 00:03:58,637 More ice, I tell you. More ice. 33 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:40,474 Damn! I know you porkers are inside. You can run but you can't hide. 34 00:04:40,546 --> 00:04:43,481 I'll get you damn pigs if it's the last thing I do. 35 00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:48,384 You, you... Oh, what rhymes with "you"? 36 00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:49,944 I'm not a damn poet. 37 00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:53,015 Why does everything always have to rhyme in these things? 38 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,218 I can't help it. 39 00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:57,863 No one talks like that in these stupid, freaking... 40 00:04:57,930 --> 00:04:59,864 I sound like a Hallmark card or something. 41 00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:01,297 No one talks like that. 42 00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:04,894 And so the wolf left without his dinner and angry 43 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:08,372 because he couldn't end his speech on a very good rhyme. 44 00:05:13,179 --> 00:05:17,081 And the piggies slept safely through the night. 45 00:05:20,553 --> 00:05:23,283 Come the morning, 46 00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:27,258 Drinky and Smokey were very, very sad. 47 00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:36,028 And so you see, brother dear, we've got nowhere to go. 48 00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:40,562 That big, bad wolf wrecked our homes, don't you know? 49 00:05:41,774 --> 00:05:45,266 He scared us so badly we ran and ran. 50 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:49,941 Now I guess we'll have to live in a garbage can. 51 00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:55,980 Nonsense, you two, you can move in with me. 52 00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:59,547 This house made of brick is very sturdy, you see? 53 00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:02,822 That blowhard old wolf could never knock it down. 54 00:06:02,895 --> 00:06:06,661 It's the strongest house in the whole darn town. 55 00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:11,193 Well, the two dumb brothers wasted no time 56 00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:14,728 in taking their smart brother up on his generous offer. 57 00:06:15,174 --> 00:06:17,665 Drinky and Smokey moved their few possessions 58 00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:19,609 into their brother's house. 59 00:06:19,679 --> 00:06:24,378 Well, to say that Drinky and Smokey didn't treat their smart brother kindly 60 00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:26,349 would be an understatement. 61 00:06:26,419 --> 00:06:28,819 They always sent him out on errands 62 00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,721 and made him cook and clean up after them. 63 00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:39,188 The two brothers weren't the best guests Dudley had ever had. 64 00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:43,201 Drinky and Smokey threw all-night parties with booze 65 00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:46,761 and ladies of easy virtue. 66 00:06:49,542 --> 00:06:54,070 I say, brothers dear, could you be a little more quiet? 67 00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:57,207 I thought that the city was having a riot. 68 00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:05,754 They partied all night and watched television all day. 69 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:10,525 I say, you two, how's the job hunt going? 70 00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:15,158 This pain in my back shows no sign of slowing. 71 00:07:15,501 --> 00:07:19,198 It's true, brother dear, that it's jobs that we need, 72 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:22,799 but the horrible truth is we don't know how to read. 73 00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:29,747 Dudley the Pig knew that his brothers meant well. 74 00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:33,411 It wasn't their fault that they were born with slow minds. 75 00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:39,356 He preferred to remember the good times. Yes, the good times. 76 00:07:39,425 --> 00:07:43,225 But for the life of him he couldn't remember any good times. 77 00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:48,100 Hey, brother dear, what're you standing there for? 78 00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:50,761 Yeah! We're out of beer, now get to the store. 79 00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:53,772 I'll go to the store, but you better beware. 80 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:57,037 That nasty, old wolf is still out there somewhere. 81 00:07:57,109 --> 00:07:59,907 So close all the windows and lock up the door, 82 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:02,971 it won't take me long to get back from the store. 83 00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:06,576 And so the smart, little piggy went to the market 84 00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:09,849 to get some beer for his lazy brothers. 85 00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:12,350 But as fate would have it, 86 00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:17,192 that was the moment the bad, old wolf chose to arrive. 87 00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:20,426 When I find a way in, that's when I attacks! 88 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:24,436 And soon I'll be dining on sweet baby backs. 89 00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:42,446 Say, brother dear, who on earth could that be? 90 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,717 I'll go to the peephole and take a look-see. 91 00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,756 Oh, please can't you help me? 92 00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:55,232 I'm filled with distress. 93 00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:58,668 I'm a poor swimsuit model who just lost her dress. 94 00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:02,201 If you'd let me inside, I'd be ever so grateful, 95 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:06,177 and I think that you'll find me to be extra playful. 96 00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:08,907 Smokey couldn't believe the luck. 97 00:09:12,151 --> 00:09:15,279 There's a cute girl outside and she wants to come in! 98 00:09:15,354 --> 00:09:18,812 Well, let her in, stupid, so the fun can begin. 99 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,521 Come right on in, Miss... 100 00:09:30,836 --> 00:09:33,771 Well, well, well, what have we here? 101 00:09:33,839 --> 00:09:37,138 Looks like two little piggies but where is the third? 102 00:09:37,209 --> 00:09:40,076 I'll start with you two and then I'll... 103 00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:42,341 Oh, the hell with it! 104 00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:46,449 And so, even though the wolf still couldn't find a rhyme 105 00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:48,214 to go with "third"he... 106 00:09:48,287 --> 00:09:52,348 Will you shut up about that? You try it. I haven't heard you do one rhyme yet. 107 00:11:20,479 --> 00:11:23,937 And when he was done, he left. 108 00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:29,215 Soon after the wolf had left, Dudley returned home. 109 00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:33,122 He was startled to find the door wide open. 110 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:36,753 Hello, brothers dear, I'm back with the beer. 111 00:11:56,849 --> 00:11:58,316 Hello? Police? 112 00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:01,547 Well, when I came home, and when I opened the door, 113 00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:05,886 there was blood on the ceiling, chopped off hands on the floor. 114 00:12:05,958 --> 00:12:09,394 I think the wolf did it, that shifty old tramp. 115 00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:13,592 There's blood all over the place. The gore is still damp. 116 00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:17,329 My God, there's intestines strung round the lamp! 117 00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:20,964 The address on the house is Pig Number Three. 118 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:25,067 Jesus Christ! There's a severed head on the TV. 119 00:12:25,144 --> 00:12:28,875 Be quick! Be quick! Please hurry here quick! 120 00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:32,577 I think that I'm going to be violently sick. 121 00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,258 Hooray! Hooray! 122 00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:47,891 At last I can cheer. The frigging police are finally here! 123 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,305 Oh, thank goodness! At last. 124 00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:59,811 You're the chief I would guess. Well, come on inside, 125 00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:02,143 take a look at this mess. 126 00:13:05,584 --> 00:13:09,384 It must have been that bad, old wolf. Oh, my Lordy! 127 00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:13,585 Only he could be responsible for a scene that's this gory. 128 00:13:13,659 --> 00:13:17,527 Come, come, Mr. Pig, let's not make up a story. 129 00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:22,058 But... But I didn't do it. I just walked in here. 130 00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:26,127 I said I'm not guilty! Let go of my ear! 131 00:13:26,205 --> 00:13:29,697 My, my, Mr. Pig, what a mess you have here. 132 00:13:29,775 --> 00:13:34,109 But to me, your motive seems perfectly clear. 133 00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:40,378 You killed both your brothers 'cause they drank all your beer! 134 00:13:40,452 --> 00:13:42,682 I'm not guilty, I say! 135 00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:46,555 Throw him in jail or he'll sing that all day. 136 00:13:49,695 --> 00:13:51,390 And early the next day, 137 00:13:51,463 --> 00:13:54,159 poor, innocent Dudley found himself in court. 138 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:55,827 Y'all be a-rising. 139 00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:59,735 The Honorable Judge Vic "Leave 'Em Hanging" Johnson presiding. 140 00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:08,904 Order! Order! 141 00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:15,352 Now that we're all in, the State vs. Dudley Pig can begin. 142 00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:19,255 - How do you plead? - Not guilty. 143 00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:23,291 That's how you plead? 144 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:26,627 Oh, I think that I've heard all that I need. 145 00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:31,058 I've got me a golf game, and I'm in a big hurry. 146 00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:34,230 I think I'm gonna hand this one off to the jury. 147 00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:37,734 - Okay, big daddy. - Okay, big daddy. 148 00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:49,685 The jury is back and a verdict they've got. 149 00:14:49,755 --> 00:14:54,021 Is the pig guilty or is the pig not? 150 00:14:54,326 --> 00:14:58,729 - Oh, brother, is he guilty! - Oh, brother, is he guilty! 151 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:04,225 Sorry, son, the system's done all it can. 152 00:15:04,303 --> 00:15:09,707 I sentence you to die in this frying pan. 153 00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:14,472 Poor Dudley Pig. What a blow fate had dealt this porker. 154 00:15:15,214 --> 00:15:18,342 Oh, woe is me. My heart is achin'. 155 00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:22,353 For come the 'morrow, I'll just be fried bacon. 156 00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:29,190 That nasty wolf, why, it's his fault that I am locked up inside this dank vault. 157 00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:33,428 My dear sweet brothers once again to see, 158 00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:37,731 would be the only wish that I'd wish for me. 159 00:15:44,476 --> 00:15:47,070 Dear brother Dudley, what's all the fuss? 160 00:15:47,146 --> 00:15:50,912 We've got something to say, better listen to us. 161 00:15:50,983 --> 00:15:55,215 Holy smoke! My dead brothers! To see you is swell. 162 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:59,223 Tell me, are things as hot as they say down in hell? 163 00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:01,020 A bit warm, it's true, 164 00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:03,558 but we're here with an important mission for you. 165 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,223 We'll help you escape and that is no goof, 166 00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:10,394 but you must bring us revenge by killing the wolf! 167 00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:14,530 And with that, the ghostly piggies lifted their brother up 168 00:16:14,606 --> 00:16:18,770 and with some effort pulled him through the window of his cell. 169 00:16:27,386 --> 00:16:30,844 What is this broken down place full of rats? 170 00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:34,086 The abandoned castle of a mad doctor, in fact. 171 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:36,957 A mad proctologist to be exact. 172 00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:40,795 But you can still use it 'cause the lab's still intact. 173 00:16:40,866 --> 00:16:44,131 Use it? For what, oh, dead brothers of mine? 174 00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:47,832 To build a monster, so revenge we can find! 175 00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:50,773 You can learn how from reading this book. 176 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:54,836 It's an ancient grimoire, but just take a look. 177 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:59,947 You will learn how to bring our plan to fruition. 178 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,817 And you won't even have to pay any tuition. 179 00:17:02,888 --> 00:17:06,324 Goodbye, brother Dudley. Save our souls from this pain. 180 00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:09,953 You must stop that wolf from killing again! 181 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:13,726 That wolf must be stopped, my brothers are right. 182 00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:17,257 I'll get busy this very night. 183 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:05,111 Now at last my dark deed is done. 184 00:18:05,184 --> 00:18:09,177 Life will soon be yours, oh, hideous one. 185 00:18:13,392 --> 00:18:17,055 After hours of toiling and sweat and strife, 186 00:18:17,129 --> 00:18:22,157 I summon the powers to give my creature life. 187 00:18:49,995 --> 00:18:54,864 And then the zombie pig monster sat up and said something 188 00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:58,425 that Dudley pig will never forget. 189 00:19:03,108 --> 00:19:08,774 The lifeless mass I have revived, now I can say it's alive! 190 00:19:08,847 --> 00:19:12,943 Live! Live! Live! 191 00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:19,483 This wolf must die, that is my will. 192 00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:24,188 I order you to kill. Kill, kill, kill, kill. 193 00:19:25,197 --> 00:19:27,461 Kill. I will. 194 00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:32,070 And so, the zombie pig monster 195 00:19:32,137 --> 00:19:35,231 shambled out the door of the castle 196 00:19:35,307 --> 00:19:38,743 to find and kill the big, bad wolf. 197 00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:48,482 You should have seen the look on that little pig's face 198 00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:52,012 as he was branded with guilt and led away in disgrace. 199 00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:54,752 I think it's funny. I just don't care. 200 00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:58,091 In the morning that pig will be fried in the chair. 201 00:19:59,665 --> 00:20:02,293 Well, I guess that's enough for one night. 202 00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:05,564 I'll go visit Bo Peep, she won't put up a fight. 203 00:20:10,642 --> 00:20:13,975 And the naughty wolf left that dark den of iniquity 204 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:15,980 and went off to molest Bo Peep. 205 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,516 But he hadn't gone far into the woods 206 00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:22,418 when he got the distinct feeling he was being followed. 207 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,542 That's a relief. It was only the trees. 208 00:20:44,610 --> 00:20:47,443 I thought for a moment I might have been... 209 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,015 What rhymes with trees? 210 00:20:59,891 --> 00:21:02,689 Oh, Mr. Monster, don't eat me, oh, please. 211 00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:06,026 I forgot to mention my horrible skin disease. 212 00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,497 Hey, that rhymed. 213 00:21:23,415 --> 00:21:26,384 And though the zombie pig had done his job, 214 00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:30,717 poor little Dudley pig was having second thoughts about what he had done. 215 00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:33,656 What have I done? 216 00:21:33,725 --> 00:21:37,422 One horrible monster from the world I have rid, 217 00:21:37,496 --> 00:21:41,193 but created another, that's what I did. 218 00:21:41,266 --> 00:21:45,032 This abomination must not continue. 219 00:21:45,103 --> 00:21:48,470 I'll have to dismember it sinew from sinew. 220 00:22:04,523 --> 00:22:10,826 Little pig, little pig, quit stabbing my head. You can't kill what's already dead. 221 00:23:02,647 --> 00:23:05,377 Must destroy! 222 00:23:17,829 --> 00:23:20,127 I love this ending, I think it's neat. 223 00:23:20,198 --> 00:23:24,100 And I've one thing to say. "Pork, the other light meat. " 224 00:23:36,748 --> 00:23:39,308 I don't know about you, kiddies, 225 00:23:39,384 --> 00:23:42,717 but I was glad to see the wolf hit one out of the pork. 226 00:23:44,356 --> 00:23:47,951 Still, an hour from now, he'll be hungry again 227 00:23:48,026 --> 00:23:50,221 and bacon for more. 228 00:23:55,467 --> 00:23:57,230 You'll be happy to know, creeps, 229 00:23:57,302 --> 00:24:01,966 that it looks like that opening I told you about has been filled. 230 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:07,637 Once we hammer out a few creative stiff-rences that is. 231 00:24:08,637 --> 00:24:18,637 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org